You don’t have one purpose in life

Cliches are dangerous. You may have heard people who are in relationships or married say “he or she is the one”. The one. You may have heard people declare “I’ve found my true purpose in life.” True purpose. Have you ever stopped to think what these people are saying? How resolute they sound for things that are not absolute. I’ve always wondered how they know these things, especially with such conviction. They’ll say “you just know.” LOL. Okay.

For almost two years now I have been wracking my brain trying to find out what my purpose is. Ever since discovering that it may not be in healthcare let alone my career as a whole, I’ve been on a relentless pursuit. It didn’t help to see everyone on Linkedin or Instagram have it all figured out, seemingly knowing the one thing they were destined for.

If you can relate to this, know that I feel you. I sympathize. It’s a very painful experience to try and find your purpose in life. You’re constantly questioning your choices and judgment. You’re searching for something wrong in everything you’ve done up to this point. I remember telling myself I should have taken a more creative career path instead of a practical one.

I remember thinking “damn, I should’ve started a business and become an entrepreneur.” Or maybe I should have been an online personal trainer. It seemed like those people were living their best lives. I even set up a business with a website and everything. And I still didn’t feel like that was it. I was under the impression that when you “find” your purpose, you think of something and feel a spark of some sort. That’s how you know it’s “the one.” 

But that’s not it. I honestly have come to think that when people say they’ve found their true purpose in life, it’s a load of crap. Not because I’m jealous (well, maybe a little), but because I’m not convinced that someone’s purpose in life is one thing. I also think it’s a bit audacious and hilarious to say that you’ve found the one thing you’ve been put on this planet for without knowing what the future holds. Like, how can someone say their true purpose in life is to be a career coach with a straight face?

Maybe career coaching is what they enjoy. But enjoying something and purpose are not necessarily the same thing. For example, sometimes you get hurt to protect others from getting hurt. Is that not purpose? 

I was watching a video the other day and the host was answering questions from the audience. One of the audience members commented: “I don’t know what my purpose in life is.” The host said: “Well, the purpose of life is to live.” Talk about an ah-ha moment! That unlocked a portal for me. Because what makes life meaningful isn’t just one thing – a job, a relationship, a trip to Paris.

It’s everything! The good, the bad, the ugly, and the indifferent. When you realize that your very existence is purpose, the pressure you’ve been putting on yourself to find your true purpose starts to dissipate. It’s not about your stupid career. Or your frivolous travels around the world. It’s about YOU.

Your existence is part of what’s holding the world together. At the risk of getting too philosophical, think about how many lives you may have saved. By smiling at someone at the grocery store. By switching lanes at the right moment in time. Think about a time when you may have told someone their shoes were untied or yelled after a patron leaving a store, letting them know they forgot their phone or wallet. Who knows what suffering or inconvenience you may have prevented. Is that not purpose?

So, yes. Do the things you enjoy. Apply for the jobs that make you feel excited. Take the trip to South Africa. Get married. Have kids. Or don’t. The point is this: you don’t serve just one purpose in this life. And your purpose doesn’t hinge on one career choice, person, or path. Purpose is multifaceted and multidimensional. Knowing this has allowed me to welcome all things that life has to offer and live more fully.

And most importantly, to take the freaking pressure off. My purpose is to live. And so is yours. How we choose to live depends on how we feel or what we want to do in a given moment, period of time, or season in life. Things change, people change, interests change. But the one thing that remains the same is the purpose of life: to live. And living is comprised of a multitude of experiences.

I’ll leave you with this: even a table has a multitude of purposes. Yes, it’s a table. But it can also serve as a chair and somewhere to eat, nap, or store your miscellaneous papers and overdue bills. You don’t serve just one purpose. And I would argue that you are purpose. So take the pressure off and live your life!